Jennifer Hatala, the writer of the article "I am a mom and I smoke" reminds me a lot of my mom. My mother believed in being open with her kids too. She encouraged us to be true to ourselves and live to our potential. She wanted us to be happy. When my siblings and I were children, she would play games with us too. She made life fun. 

We are now all adults. I am 27 and the youngest of four. When I was a kid, my mom would hug me every day too, just like Jennifer does with her kids. Just like Jennifer, my mother enjoyed smoking an occasional cigarette on the deck and drinking coffee in the afternoon. For the sake of Jennifer's children, I hope the similarities stop there.

You see, next week marks the 2 month anniversary of my mother's death. She died of lung cancer at the age of 56. Since we were kids, my siblings and I did everything to get her to quit. In school we learned that smoking can kill you. We did not want to lose our mom. She was the best mom. 

I do not think my mom ever thought she would die of lung cancer. She probably thought she could get cancer, but cancer research has come so far. She got lung X-rays ever year. Surely IF she got lung cancer it would be caught early and would be successfully treated. How fatally wrong she was. The symptoms of lung cancer do not appear until the later stages, when it is too late to successfully treat. 

On April 9, 2000, my mom went to an emergency room because she could not stop coughing. She was diagnosed with stage IIIB lung cancer. Despite this horrible diagnosis, the doctors said she was otherwise healthy. My mom had an amazing attitude and was determined to fight. With aggressive radiation and chemotherapy, she had a good chance of survival. All of the research my siblings and I did told us she had at least 3-5 years. Our hopes for just a few years were shattered. She died just twelve weeks later. 

People frequently tell me "at least she did not suffer." Well let me tell you - she did. Chemo therapy and radiation is no picnic. The side effects my mom SUFFERED included third degree burns on her neck from which she bled. At one point during the twelve weeks her esophagus swelled to the point that she could not eat and feeding tubes were implanted into her stomach. Through all of this, she kept up a great attitude. She was cracking jokes the day before she died.

My Mom and I were very close. I shared everything with her. Like Jennifer, she had her own opinions too. I wish she was here so I could ask her what her opinions are on the choices I face daily. My biggest sorrow is that she will not be here when my husband and I begin having children. My children will not have a grandmother like I did. Not only was she an amazing Mom, she was a terrific grandmother to my niece and nephews too. 

I hope Jennifer's children have their mother in their lives longer than I did. I miss my mother, and always will. She died way too young and I am too young to have lost a mother.